Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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