You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
