I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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