Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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