Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
