Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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