Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
