Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fuck appropriateness.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We talked him into tasing himself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
