false alarm. still invincible.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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