you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
