i think my mom watched the whole time
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
