I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
A+ Viking dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
