20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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