I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I understand Curling. That high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
