this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
