So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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