i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
