...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
