is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you never un-have a 4some
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
