i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
