it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
