It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
