You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
And then he peed in my hair
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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