My sheets look like a crime scene.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
