i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
