areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
