if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I intend to get homeless drunk
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You ate ashes out of my bong
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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