hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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