I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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