While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
