My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
