Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
