it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
