Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize