ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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