david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
