We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
