whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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