so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
