I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
