pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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