She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
