We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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