i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
