I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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