running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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