She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
