Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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