it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
