Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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