You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
