i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
