Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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