You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My butt remains clenched, sir.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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