I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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