ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
