Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
