i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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