I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
