a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
