you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
